Life is full of problems. Even if you are the bloody president, you have problems. I must say, you have most of the problems when you become president! Look at Obama. He was black when he started out. He is white now! I meant his hair, dude. No, we never allow racism to be a topic here.
We worry about getting old. We worry about getting old more than developing holes in our "older than us" underwear. We worry so much about getting old, that we grow, old. You know. Lemme give you some free tips to act not old. These work, even if you are on your death-bed right now. They say, no matter when you die, die young! What bullshit. Anyways, these tips kept me to remain young for so long, you see?! Khi khi. No I can't show you my Birth Certificate.
Tip #1: Act like you are not old. Even if you are a retarded old man, try acting like a child. Drink milk. They say, "a glass of milk a day, keeps your next birthday away". Right. Eat ice-creams. Chocolate ice-creams. They have a chemical called "growth-retarder". I bet it works, cos I read about it somewhere!
Tip #2: Don't get married. If you are married, divorce her already. The American Association of Staying Young has found that a shouting female's radioactive wave can add 3 years to the directed! Get her outta your house! Check yourself instantly in the mirror the next day. You will 'look' so young.
Tip #3: Have a party in your house. That's right, Bring in your old buddies in your house and party like a wasted rock-star. Bringing in the ecstasy is a great idea, cos if you die of an overdose, you die young! Once you are a ghost, you can brag among st the ghosts' community that you are young. Please don't haunt me though.
Tip #4: Buy a wig if you don't have hair. Cover that bald patch up! The only thing that piss girls off is a hole on a man, cos they are the types who are supposed to have them!! You know, the holeys. So, if you have lost a twig, don't just leave it there! Buy an adhesive and stick it back where it came from! Those are expensive, buddy. If a lot of 'em are gone, cut some off from the jungle below and stick 'em up on your head. It works cos God emailed me.
Tip #5: Go back to school. Remember the vampires in Twilight?! They remained young cos they went to a new school every decade or so. You should do it too. Who will know after you have stuck some hair on your head?! Act like you were born like Button. You know, born old. Impress the chicks. Cos if you have chicks around you, you will be cool. If you are cool, you look young. Amen.
If you can't follow any of the above tips, you should stay inside your house. Don't let the earthly young people see you. Actually that's the best tip for ya. R.I.P.
Do you like the post? If you do, then your friends will love it!! Please take some time to share it with your friends using the buttons below. Suggestions are also very welcome, so, please don't forget to post your comments below. I really wanna thank you for taking your time to read the post!
We worry about getting old. We worry about getting old more than developing holes in our "older than us" underwear. We worry so much about getting old, that we grow, old. You know. Lemme give you some free tips to act not old. These work, even if you are on your death-bed right now. They say, no matter when you die, die young! What bullshit. Anyways, these tips kept me to remain young for so long, you see?! Khi khi. No I can't show you my Birth Certificate.
Tip #1: Act like you are not old. Even if you are a retarded old man, try acting like a child. Drink milk. They say, "a glass of milk a day, keeps your next birthday away". Right. Eat ice-creams. Chocolate ice-creams. They have a chemical called "growth-retarder". I bet it works, cos I read about it somewhere!
Tip #2: Don't get married. If you are married, divorce her already. The American Association of Staying Young has found that a shouting female's radioactive wave can add 3 years to the directed! Get her outta your house! Check yourself instantly in the mirror the next day. You will 'look' so young.
Tip #3: Have a party in your house. That's right, Bring in your old buddies in your house and party like a wasted rock-star. Bringing in the ecstasy is a great idea, cos if you die of an overdose, you die young! Once you are a ghost, you can brag among st the ghosts' community that you are young. Please don't haunt me though.
Tip #5: Go back to school. Remember the vampires in Twilight?! They remained young cos they went to a new school every decade or so. You should do it too. Who will know after you have stuck some hair on your head?! Act like you were born like Button. You know, born old. Impress the chicks. Cos if you have chicks around you, you will be cool. If you are cool, you look young. Amen.
If you can't follow any of the above tips, you should stay inside your house. Don't let the earthly young people see you. Actually that's the best tip for ya. R.I.P.
Do you like the post? If you do, then your friends will love it!! Please take some time to share it with your friends using the buttons below. Suggestions are also very welcome, so, please don't forget to post your comments below. I really wanna thank you for taking your time to read the post!
