The complexity of simplicity.

We Indians can't use English for shit. When Indians use English, it's like Shakespeare made to write Romeo and Juliet in Japanese. We are crippled, just crippled in English. So to ease the plight on the public, the Indian government made some amendments.
The amendments were aimed at making English simpler for the common man. It had three essential points to it.

Indian Language Act No. 25719803754 Sec. (93427659), 2011.

First: For the ease of the public, the way English words are spelled will be modified and it's use will be made compulsory for all Indians. Use of double letters in English words will be discontinued and prohibited.

The Indian train journey.

I did come out alive. I dunno how. No, there were no oxygen masks inside like the ones you get in-flight which drops down suddenly when the 'air-tin' is in danger. But I survived. I think it was my will-power. Better give the credit to the 'oh-so-rare-in-trains' chick who was sitting two seats from mine.

A fifteen hours sit-or-stand inside a long, no, very long vehicle. Run by government. Dirty as hell. Not enough place to sleep. Seats torn, the hidden, now freed metal trying to assassinate me. It was quite a cat and mouse game.I was the mouse.

First sight: When you get into an Indian train for the first time, the first thing you think is, "God, this place stinks!" Even if you are a seasoned traveler, I am pretty sure the first time you entered with your dad your thoughts were the same. Even when you couldn't speak a word those days, you were thinking something along the same lines, in baby speech. You know.
The bogies, or 'vans connected together' were painted like the painter got bored while doing the job and fell asleep. By the way, have you ever noticed how bad the artistic sense of government painters are?!

How to: travel in a bus.

The cheapest means of transport. Apart from your legs carrying you for free. So when you step into this cheapo you need to be on your toes.

Getting one: If you are new in a city and you dunno how to say the name of the language in that language, it will be really troublesome to find the correct bus. Get going to the bus-stop early and look around at the dudes around. Don't ask the chicks cos they dunno shit. Look around for guys in specs. Don't even think of going to the big-mustache guy. Asking him for the bus number is like saying, "Oh, I am new here and you can loot me!"
Ask that lean and bespectacled guy about which bus will take you where.

Getting on-board: Buses here never stop. Seriously. They keep running even at the bus-stop. They never wait for passengers. It's like they fear if they wait a minute, the bus would be flooded with people. It's true though. So you have to run and get on-board. This needs some practice. Start training a week back. Wake up in the morning, take a skateboard with you. Roll it along your side while running. Jump on it suddenly. If you fall, you will never catch a bus. Practice makes perfect. It hurts?

How to: become a Superhero.

Maybe the title should have been "How to: become Batman", but I wanted people to take it as they want to be. A 'Superhero' covers a broader domain you see. Even Shaktimaan too. Khi, khi.
Now being a Superman kinda thingy is impossible by a long shot. But we can try being Batman. And we do need some Wonder Women too. No, you can't change the costume.

Start: Well, first of all you have to be a weakling. No Superhero was a Superhero before his ass got kicked and he realized it hurt. Then he wanted to do something about it. The exception was probably Shaktimaan, who started meditating and you have to still strain your poor ass to do that. But we all know where he landed up after that. In the Parliament. Sorry, Shaktimaan!
So pick up a fight with some goons. You can pay them beforehand not to break you to pieces. Just a slap. Use ketchup for the blood on your chin. Then feel (fake) angry.