Are you a side-track walker? Do you love eating things what others don't? Do you step out of your house with your right feet first? That might be causing you a lot of problems right there! You see, when the right feet always goes out 'there' first, he starts complaining. The left feet is all relaxed and he hasn't got any pressure of facing the hostilities of the world first! So give your right feet a break. You can sever it off and send him to the Bahamas for a vacation.
Bent forward: For guys who are bent forward, there is a reason behind it. After yet another extensive research and waiting for my cousin Brett to grow up, I have confirmed that the reason for dudes bending forward lie in Women living across the street. I locked Brett in a square room with a single window facing another house across the street. I arranged a chick to live in the house next street and I made her look beautiful. After spending some 7 years in captivity, I released Brett and made an amazing discovery: he was bent over! On analyzing multiple data, I found that Brett used to spend most of his days inside the room peeking at the 'lovely' lady across the street from his window! This can be analogous to the photosynthesis theory, in which a plant grows towards light. Men grow towards women. Brett and the 'lovely' lady broke up last Christmas.
Shortness: People who are short are not short cos they are not tall; it's cos they do a lot more hard work. To get under this mystery, I imported another egg: that of a giraffe. Moments after the giraffe hatched, I made it to lift 10 kgs of weight and tied 'em to his head just like that. I made him hold on it for another 5 years and surprise! What I observed was the giraffe hadn't grown up to the ceiling! Apart from the fact that it died a few years ago and didn't notice, it hadn't grown as much as expected! Bingo! Another theory! so stop working and lifting things if you wanna grow tall.
My experiments are certified. By me. For other new discoveries, come visit my lab, maybe I can use you for my new experiment.
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Large bums: After an extensive research undertaken under my own vigilance, we found out creatures who sit a lot more of their childhood tend to have larger bums. This special experiment was conducted on 3 chimps. No, this isn't animal cruelty! I was just trying to find out how Kim Kardashian got such humongous bums! Now that's for human development. As I was saying, we imported the chimps while they were still in their eggs and we made them hatch using sunlight. From the moment these chimps hatched, we tied them in 3 different positions.
C1 (I will refer to their scientific names) was made to stand straight and tied to a pole. C2 was made to sit on a bench and tied in that position. C3 was made to sleep (ah, the lucky one!) and tied in that position.
After 20 years of observation, we got to the breakthrough never done yet in human anatomy: the chimp who sat for 20 years had larger bums!! That is in direct connection to Kim who has stated before, "I had to sit through my childhood. Nobody wanted to be with me." And this is a discovery that will change mankind!
So if your child's egg just hatched, make sure you make her sit right now! Don't let her go anywhere! She is gonna be famous-for-nothing-but-having-Godzilla-sized-bums when she is grown up!
We want a Nobel Prize for this. In bum research. Oh, by the way, the other two chimps are still under observation.
Shortness: People who are short are not short cos they are not tall; it's cos they do a lot more hard work. To get under this mystery, I imported another egg: that of a giraffe. Moments after the giraffe hatched, I made it to lift 10 kgs of weight and tied 'em to his head just like that. I made him hold on it for another 5 years and surprise! What I observed was the giraffe hadn't grown up to the ceiling! Apart from the fact that it died a few years ago and didn't notice, it hadn't grown as much as expected! Bingo! Another theory! so stop working and lifting things if you wanna grow tall.
My experiments are certified. By me. For other new discoveries, come visit my lab, maybe I can use you for my new experiment.
Do you like the post? If you do, then your friends will love it!! Please take some time to share it with your friends using the buttons below. Suggestions are also very welcome, so, please don't forget to post your comments below. I really wanna thank you for taking your time to read the post!
