We always have our own capabilities on dealing with
situations in life. But there always comes a moment when however prepared you
might be, you can’t always act the way you want to. That doesn’t count the
moment you ran to your loo but couldn’t make it in time. That could have been
controlled. You know, if you weren’t so dictatorial to your penile erectile and
whatever it is you call for a female, you might have made it in time.
I am talking about the things that you can’t control. Like
when you were so desperate to take a shit that you forgot to lock the door. And
it is a public bathroom. And some pervert didn’t notice the puke-bomb-smell you
just released. And you see the door handle turn. This might have been the first
moment in your life when you knew what was happening but you couldn’t do
anything about it. You know. Like when you knew the bastard outside will turn
the door and open it, and instead of going for the door handle your hands will
involuntarily go across to hide your privates. The only thing that saves you is
he is a stranger and you might never meet him again. Well, unless he pops out
sitting in the interview panel of your next job. Let’s just hope he has color-blindness
and he couldn’t distinguish between the carbon black thing in between and the
color of your hands.
There is also the moment when you finish your work in the
toilet. You are really relieved with the work you did inside and you come out.
Suddenly you realize your bladder wants to do some more exercise. You have to
go back inside but it would look really weird to those standing with you at the
wash basin if you run back to the toilet. Then you start doing totally
unrelated things just right there. Something like adjusting your hair, even if
you did that before you washed your hands. Like trying to pluck out the non-existent
dirt from your perfectly-washed-by-your-wife shirt. Like you grimace in pain
because of the obvious knocking at your anal wall. And the stranger next to you
thinks you smiled at him and so he smiles back. Then you realize the urge is so
unbearable that you don’t care about the onlookers anymore and rush back to the
seat just in time. Thank God for shamelessness hormones.
You are having fun with your buddies and some random friend
of his lands up in between. He is introduced to you. You are introduced too.
After a minute of random smiles and ‘Oh, I know her too’ with him, you both
stare at each other with a dumb smile on your face. Then they start talking
about something you have no crazy idea about. You laugh like an ass when they
laugh, just to make sure they don’t feel like you are an idiot not to
understand apparently the funniest thing there ever was. Then with a swift move
you take out your cell-phone and start acting like you are replying to an important
SMS. The more experienced guy plays his ringtone and he says, “Sorry, have to
take this one!” Then he goes to a corner and speaks like he is the president. He
speaks on the phone until the friend’s friend goes away. Life saved.
We all lie. It’s like the last drop of urine which always
ends inside your underwear. However hard you try, you will just end up telling a
lie. Not because it is your last resort, but because you just don’t want the
asshole asking you whatever the question is, to think you are whatever he
thinks you are. And I don’t know how that ends up being compared with the urine
thing. But they do sound similar. Now, the point is, you lie to somebody and
you have to continue lying about the same thing because the guy to whom you
lied in the first place knows this guy you are gonna lie to, now. Then this
continues like an avalanche and before you know it, the lie which you lied has
become the truth. The intelligent guy goes about trying to make the lie a
truth. So, the next time he has to lie to a friend, it isn’t a lie anymore, it
is the truth which was a lie and it is now a truth because he had to lie so
many lies to cover up the original lie. What the hell did I just write about?!
Thank God for intelligence. You couldn’t have thought of
lying to cover your other lie if you were a rat. But then your rat-buddy also
would have been stupid enough not to remember your original lie. Well, thank
God for different languages for different species.
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